My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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