im having a threesome with these popsicles
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
