Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
