Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
