As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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