every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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