we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
