i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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