Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize