need another drink. this is the easiest way
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
