guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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