The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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