Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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