Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
