I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
