We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
