Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Boobs are out for the taking
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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