I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
