You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
