You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
