no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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