Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
