I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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