Just took my morning after pill in the library
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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