the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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