dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
