I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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