I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just found puke in my bra..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
