none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
