I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
