I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
high people should be assigned attendants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize