it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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