Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
