My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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