So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
