Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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