i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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