just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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