Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
