i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
