So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
