Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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