Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
