are you still at the devil's house?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
