so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
