We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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