u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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