there was a trapeze. enough said
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
