a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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