i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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