you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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