You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
