you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
