ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
