walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
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