So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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