I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
