i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
