It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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