are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
