Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
