He had one of those small greek statue penises
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
