Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
