I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
