East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
