I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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