I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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