She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
