The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
